Irrationality

I moved our bed today.

It made me really sad.

I've been packing our house for weeks now. Everything except our movies and the kitchen are in boxes. I have literally left out just enough to get by until graduation. And none of that bothered me at all. I was excited to pack it all up because that means we're just that much closer to moving.

The cats were getting into the boxes I hadn't finished filling up and therefore hadn't closed yet. McAleister has already peed in one box. Luckily it was a box of books that we were getting rid of. But I couldn't risk him doing it in boxes that we actually need. Unfortunately, I happened to be packing all the boxes into John's room, where there were litter boxes. So I can't exactly shut the door.

The solution: I moved our bed into that room and emptied out the bedroom for all the boxes.

This is the room I used as my bedroom the entire first year I lived in the house. And I didn't mind it then at all. Yes, it's a more inconvenient room. It's on the end of the house where the windows face other houses instead of fields. And it's right off the living room instead of off by itself down the hallway. However, it has it's own attached bathroom (hence the litterboxes), and it's much less affected by the wind. And it will only be for 4 weeks until we move everything to North Dakota. So why is it making me so sad that the bed is now in there?

I think a part of it is that I never lived in that room with John. We moved into the other bedroom when he moved in with me. So it makes me lonely. Makes me feel like he's a lot further away. But that can't be all because I'm not sad about leaving the house that I live in with him.

It's just weird because I'm never this nostalgic about anything. Hell, half the time I don't even sleep in our room during the winter. I'll sleep out on the couch or floor in the living room because the wind is too bad. And considering it's windy tonight, I should be glad I'm not in the bedroom.

Seriously, I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm missing John more than usual also, so apparently I'm just being emotional right now. Yuck. I don't like being emotional.



On another note: I am dragging my ass back on plan tomorrow. I don't feel as good right now as I do when I'm eating well. I'm exhausted, have headaches, and a constant upset stomach. So as of tomorrow, it's back on. Not to mention, I have a lot of boxes to move in a month. And right now, I'm not in good enough shape to do that. Just moving a handful of boxes and a bed (although a seriously heavy bed) exhausted me today. Plus there's Mom's statement that I 'obviously need to go back on a diet.' It's time. I'm not even sure why I fell off this time. The couple days I was on felt so good, I don't know why I blew it.

So we'll see how tomorrow goes.